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The Not So Nice Momma

Uh...that would be me!  Definitely not nice!  I don't think if I could even find the word nice in the dictionary.  As a matter of fact, I think "that word" fell out of my dictionary. 

Bad day? You bet!  My fault?  Probably...okay, I take all the blame.  It is one of those days.  The weather here is changing.  We are expected to get some rain and the heat and humidity is starting to climb.  I have had a headache since yesterday, my right sinus is hurting with some dizziness added to it.

The house is very much out of order and needs just a little TLC to make it right.  Not a problem.  Chores have been assigned and placed in chore packs.  The nesters know the drill, they what to do. 

I see that some of the freshly folded laundry is not in the  drawers.  The reason given is "there is not enough room".  Simple solution...take out what you do not wear or like and put it in appointed basket.  I guess it is not that simple.  So I have to go into one room and go through it piece by piece.  Child tries on some of the clothing in question, piles of clothing are made for "donate", "hand me down to a friend", and "place back in drawer".

Then comes lunch.  Simple...sandwich and salad, everyone can do their own.  One child wanted to fry some ham.  She is more that capable than doing it and I gave the go ahead.  Someone else wants a fried egg and is willing to clean up the mess..."Mom!  Do we have any more oil?  When do I put the oil in?"  Yep!  I should have never given permission for the fried ham.  I broke the line that I drew and now everyone has had to pay the price.  So as I am making the fried egg with the last bit of oil, someone else wants an egg also.  That egg slides off the spatula while transferring it to the plate.  Some of the
"juicey" (runny yolk) is now on the counter and my nester is not happy.  I am not happy, actually I am letting my anger take a hold of me and I snap.  Okay, I did not snap, I barked--LOUDLY!  I felt like the Incredible Hulk.  I am sure if I would have looked in the mirror I would have seen green.  {actually that is not funny...I just realized I am wearing a green shirt!} 

I don't like me.  I am pretty certain my nesters don't like me much right now either.  I can't even imagine why anyone would like me.  I am serious.  I almost did not recognize the beast that was in my kitchen.  I know I need to apologize and make things right, but I would rather just sit and cry.  But crying will not fix the hurt.  I caused great hurt...you should see their eyes.  I cannot undo the hurt and that makes me hurt even the more. 

So I will go to my Bible, draw on the strength of the One I should have been leaning on all along.  I will ask for forgiveness, renew my spirit and go to my children and apologize. 

  
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